I touched myself in the sense of death, discomfort, discomfort, simply burn and rot. The seminar just fit into my life, I saw the burning picture three weeks before that on a shamanic journey, and my life went on in that feeling all the time. Yesterday it broke, flashes of feeling from myself and from the surroundings are a gift to me, the burning place turned into a blooming paradise yesterday.
What it gave me: Some rules of communication and coexistence with others. I found out how important they are for communication, understanding, full experience and its reflection, and how fundamental and difficult it is to follow them. I experienced an amazing journey: from naive enthusiasm through confusion and ambiguity to boredom, despair, loss of hope and fatigue to search again; than to hope and humble endeavor, to the top of bliss and ecstasy of understanding and compassion, and then back to humble endeavor and faith. I became strongly aware that things are not easy to do honestly, and that it can be painfull to do them from heart, but at the same time that this brings deep joy and true satisfaction. It is just necessary not to relax, not to get lazy and not to chat on the surface. What it took from me: naive enthusiasm, thanks God! A little carelessness and illusion that it will be simple. What I realized: how much I love my family. What I learned: follow community rules wherever possible.
The seminar was very demanding for me personally from the beginning, first with its unknown and later with its dense atmosphere full of emotions. I could not imagine in any way how thirty unknown people can get to know and to connect to each other better. And how simple it is! To be within, fully present, open and lovingly receiving. To find the courage in yourself. To venture again and again into your depths to consciously bring to light the things that hurt, your fears that have not been forgotten and doze quietly in us, and without knowing, tie our feet and make us act according to old and rooted patterns that are no longer needed. Being in silence and listening to others, and talking only when I really feel it, when I feel that my heart can pop up with what I want to say, what is the right moment to talk. Not only in the community, but also in the family, at work, in life at all. How much time, pain and distress can cause an inappropriate word at the wrong moment, and yet little is needed. After all, love is the strongest bond that unites people and gives them strength. And it is not in vain that they say, “Speak silver, keep silent gold.”
I appreciated my time and other´s time, I appreciated my words and words of others, I found out how much “sauce” is in the communication and the rule to say your name has the magical power not to talk “anything” only because there is silence.
From the seminar I take the following: the focus on the here and now, the unity of the community; if I am moved to I speak to myself, I speak for myself, I speak not generally but in “I” statements; if I talk about others I address them directly; the feeling of security, the feeling of unconditional acceptance. Thank you very much for this weekend!
The seminar did not give me the experience to be at least for a while in real community, but even despite this, it was very helpful. It activated something inside me and now I am finally able to do somethig with me. I was not able to do something inside me before, even I have gone throught many workshops and seminars. I was still big theorist, the practice was not coming to me. This workshop was able to wash off something and finally I looked at me in a better way and I saw that I do not really want some things in me anymore. I am changing. It is possible now.
The weekend was an unbelievable, rewarding and powerful experience for me. I realized how important and actually natural it is to perceive everyone as an integral and important part of one big puzzle. That it is not important to be the center of that puzzle but a part of it. Being able to listen, giving the space to the others they need, but at the same time not being afraid to take your own space when the opportunity is there. Although my head seemed initially well emptied for this seminar, I now feel it like a balloon. During those intense three days, at any given moment, I gathered a lot of information, the maximum feeling of a frantic beating of my heart mixed with various internal dialogues, emotions of fear, uncertainty, appraisal, separation, rage, annoyance, sadness, pain, laughter, astonishment. Then the most happiness, love, purity, belonging, joy and freedom …
The seminar was one of the most beautiful and powerful experiences in my life, although at first it didn’t seem that way. It ended three days ago and the most beautiful thing is actually what is happening and what I have been experiencing since. My relationship with myself, my partner, my mom, my dad, my brother, my friends, my people around me, the people I meet on the street, the ants, the snails, the dogs … just changed everyone without exception. I understood and experienced that it is truly possible to respect and accept myself and others at the same time, that there is actually no contradiction in it. It is only a matter of continuing to seek in each relationship with each being what in this relationship and at this moment love means, what the other person really needs, to tune in and open to him … and myself. Everything we meet is an opportunity for love. Love cannot be given or taken; love simply is. Since I opened myself, love has been flowing and filling the whole world.
I learned something new, something I already knew in a more deeply way … about silence and concentration, about listening and speaking, about femininity and self-worth, about relationships – daughter, sister, mother, father, partner … and about myself. And, during this weekend, there was an ever-growing feeling that after all, it was possible to get a large group of people to work together. Without superficial courtesy, yet in deep respect for one another. Without suppressing oneself, yet in harmony with the group. The whole weekend was a very special experience. Exceptional as life itself. And now, over time, I see how this weekend keeps helping me to live more freely and experience common joy and worry in peace, humility and love.
I’m glad I stayed to the end. During the seminar I was in great anger wanting to leave twice and never come back… feeling that no one would ever understand me anyway. But the longer I stayed, even it was a challenge until the end, the more interesting it beame. Until now I am surprised what everything a person can learn about herself in just a weekend! Since then I realized how sensitive I am to myself. In practical life, it becomes easier for me to distinguish what makes sense to say and when I will simply stay silent. I have a problem with that. I can now very easily say “NO” to something I don’t like, what I don’t want, what I’m pushed into, etc. Thanks for it!